Episode Transcript
Speaker 0 00:00:00 Welcome to the, give yourself the chance podcast. I'm your host, Peter Lewis. And this is the show dedicated to unlocking human potential and living a life.
Speaker 1 00:00:08 <inaudible>
Speaker 0 00:00:16 Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of give yourself the chats. Uh, I have a lady called B Ray. Um, where are we today? Speaking to me from, uh, Georgia over in United States. And I, I know there's some celebrations in your household this weekend. Be tell us about that. What's going on.
Speaker 1 00:00:31 Oh, I'm so lucky. Thank you, Peter. I'm so happy to be here. I actually live in Charleston, South Carolina, but I'm here today to celebrate my mother's 85th birthday. So I'm just awesome to be in Savannah, Georgia and a place I've spent a lot of time and actually had at one point run a nonprofit here called the creative coast. And in that role, I was able to host the local TEDx. I host the innovation conference and coached, um, about 300 entrepreneurs, largely early idea stage entrepreneurs. And so it's always a pleasure to be here and certainly a pleasure to be speaking with you about people doing great things and solving great problems. And, um, this is really lovely.
Speaker 0 00:01:16 Cool. No, that's so cool that you can celebrate with your mother. I mean, 85 years, there'd be some stories that she can tell. I'm sure we we've just had a significant milestone in our house. My wife turned 50 this weekend and it's interesting in the, in the land of lockdown and pandemics. So, you know, this kind of dates the podcast a little bit, but we're still in it. It's sort of mid July. I'm keeping a secret from her for, although about all the things had to organize and zoom parties be, I was exhausted by, by Monday, but it all went off, but I won't let you kind of dive bulge any secrets that you might have for your mum, but I'm sure it'd be quite the celebration this weekend.
Speaker 1 00:01:55 Well, we're excited to be with her. And, um, the one thing I do think is funny is the COVID has been hard on everyone and maybe especially my mom, because she's lived a life to keep herself very busy, uh, volunteering at her church and cooking at her church and, um, taking care of the old people. She takes a woman out to lunch on a regular basis, which she's not able to do right now. And I've always been asking her, you know, mom, like who's taking you to lunch, but, um, anyway, so it is lovely to be a part of a family and a celebration, but also just, um, people embracing life at all ages. That's a really great thing.
Speaker 0 00:02:35 That's a fantastic lot to celebrate there. So, um, I'm going to describe you as a entrepreneur keynote speaker author, um, but you also added in there that you're a mom. Um, and, and actually that's really important to know only because your, your latest book or your book is, um, what an MBA taught me, but my kids made me learn and I love title. So we're certainly going to explore that a little bit later on in the episode, but I'd like to talk really first about pandemic and what effect that had on your keynote speaking career, because I can only imagine you're speaking to large audiences and all of a sudden that option was, was removed for you. What, how did you meet that day?
Speaker 1 00:03:21 Sure. So absolute zero. And I feel such guilt that I remember in probably about January or February saying to my sister, um, you know, this COVID thing is actually going to hurt me financially. It was like a revelation and it was as if I was the only person on the planet, only keynote speakers, because I think we really were the first hit. And I love seeing you laugh because of course, it's hilarious now. Um, because you might as well laugh, right. Uh, and that is exactly what happened is I had a dozen face-to-face conferences where I was either to be some sort of speaker or a keynote speaker that was tied to all sorts of revenue and travel and fun and, uh, planning. And it literally went to zero and it not only went to a financial zero, but it just went to a lot of confusion and the people that were in my world and are in my worlds, um, you know, they, they were hit really hard to write.
Speaker 1 00:04:24 And so we just, it felt like a cascading impact. Um, it turns out that I was very wrong talking to my sister. I now know dozens of people, unfortunately, that are trying to run shops and restaurants and schools and all sorts of things. And my focus became very quickly, not about me and my lack of revenue, but how do you help what's really happening in this society? Boy, we really need to be loving and supporting each other because, um, the economy has been really hard on a number of people, for sure. Um, and the one of the best parts and, and this was a meme I saw was the best part about 2020 is now, uh, being too lazy to make dinner and going out and getting takeout as a way of supporting the community. And I love that. So when I've done my share of supporting the local restaurants, um, take out, we take it off, uh, to the beach and, and have a picnic.
Speaker 1 00:05:25 So lucky us. Um, but I had to do a couple of things and what the best lesson here is, I had to try enough things and have room for failure. So I basically came up with three or four new, if you will, product one is I finished my book. So this was a book I had started, um, many different times and I kept going down the wrong path. They kept being used, uh, either with a partner that it was going to be like a, like a business card. And that wasn't really speaking from my heart. And then later, if I, it felt like it was very formulaic. And in December, I pretty much had really given up on this thing that started about five years ago as a article by entrepreneur magazine, that I published an article there called what are three lessons, Harvard taught me, but my kids make me learn.
Speaker 1 00:06:14 And so ever since then, I've had this idea of making that an entire book until December where to actually kind of, um, had too many false starts. And anyone listening knows that it's great to write a book and roughly 30% of the people who endeavored to do so actually finished because there's a lot of things that can get in your way. And lucky for me, I went back to the basics of saying, Oh, I actually have is me and my own heart and my own story. And if I can share my stories in a way that invites others to see my failures, maybe I can make you laugh. I might be able to make you cry, but I'm going to share what I have as a way of helping someone else walk and live and embrace their own story. And that we came my goal and that 16 chapters later, um, this was one of my major projects.
Speaker 1 00:07:06 And so even if it didn't turn into revenue and certainly didn't turn into revenue right away, it feels like I was able to accomplish something during these months that I wasn't traveling and going and giving these keynote addresses. I didn't have to redo slides and I didn't have to come up with specific content or the talk. I was able to put that in channel that into the book. So that feels great. Um, and then in addition, well, goodness, you gotta do something else, actually buy the peanut butter for these children and put a roof over their heads. And so I came up with really three different things and one was an online course, broke down. Some of that content, a second was, um, Vistage is a group of entrepreneurs and I became an approved Vistage speaker and I've done a number of virtual talks for them.
Speaker 1 00:07:54 And then I have 12 to 15 months of virtual combination of virtual and, or in person talks coming. And so that feels like a process that I went through and it feels like a new plan and that field is lovely. And then, um, a third thing was corporate talks. So most of what my expertise is in is in executive leadership and people skills. And during this time of COVID where we're not connecting with colleagues over lunch, or we're not connecting with them at the water cooler, there's actually an increased demand in corporations like Microsoft to have excuses, to bring teams together. And if you have a speaker who can laugh with you and teach you a few tricks, we can stick them on a zoom call. And I've had talks where I'm actually speaking to employees in six different countries at once. Um, and that's been some revenue as well.
Speaker 1 00:08:52 So I had to kind of reinvent. And the reason I wanted to list all three is because, you know, as we're always growing and changing, whether an entrepreneur or just seeking to learn, we know that not everything works out. So two of those things have so far turned into something that's going to be meaningful. One total fun. I haven't nobody's cared about an online course when you can watch Hamilton for free, right? There's all these, you know, so it's, for me that hasn't paid off, had gotten any traction, maybe it will later. But to me, the lesson is you gotta kind of put a couple of fishing rods out there to see what's going to come.
Speaker 0 00:09:38 Yeah, no, that's a, there's a lot in that. I mean, on the online course piece I've had in the past similar experiences it's creating the online course actually turns out to be the easiest thing it's getting people to pay for. It is the hardest thing in marketing it. And then I made the decision. I had this online course that helped people that were transitioning from their military careers to their civilian life, because that's the process I went through, uh, 12 years ago. And I just said, one day you can give this away for free. And it's probably generated more interested. It's free and it's been passed along and that's generated more conversations and possibly, you know, by consequence other work opportunities. So there's something about, well actually, why would I hold that, lock it away behind a barrier of a gateway where people aren't going to just give it away, gave it away because actually probably won't do the work on the course anyway.
Speaker 0 00:10:34 But if it gets them socialized to what you're like, then if you can help them do that, and it's a mindset thing. So there's a simple things around mindset. There's one of those throw up there with your explanation. One, there was that initial reaction of, Oh, poor me, keynote speaking is done. Um, but then the waking up to the realization that, Hey, look, there's a lot to be grateful for here. I have my health have my family, but you know, how can I help others? So I think a lot of people go through that, no doubt we all had that shock of capture, but then we realize, okay, I can endure this now. Now how can I be of service? So that's an interesting one. And, and also what's interesting for me, what the listeners don't know yet is that we, we met a couple of years ago then if it's a couple years ago or perhaps more than that, um, in st. Louis, there was a scaling up conference and you are on the sort of other, the other side of the publishing fence, helping coaches and entrepreneurs get their voice out there through publication. But now your switching, what made the switch for you? How, why did you pivot from providing that service to being, you know, my side, if you like, as it were?
Speaker 1 00:11:40 Sure. Sure. Well, thank you for that. Yes. We met in st. Louis, I think it was 2017 and, um, I was running the entrepreneurship practice group for Forbes books, and that's a really great program, a wonderful opportunity to not only have sort of a ghost writer write the book, but also tie in with the beautiful name of Forbes. And you can imagine in doing so, I met so many amazing people. I mean, so many people that were doing great things, they were running great businesses. Many times they were running a consulting business, but many different things. And it was fascinating to hear their stories and to hear what was motivating them to write a book. Um, and usually the way we would operate is we wouldn't just have an hour phone call. I would, it would lead to like an eight hour dig, deep session on what would you do with this book?
Speaker 1 00:12:34 Where would it go? And, and I did the better I did it. My job was whenever I could get more creative with what could you do? And where could that take your business? Well, maybe I am sorta too selfish cause it kept, I kept kind of going to, well, that sounds really fun. You know, it would be really great or it's hard to get that involved, you know, planning up to an eight hour day, following up from them, coming up, back with plans. It's hard to get that involved in an individual's life and have it not relate back to your own world. And eventually I just said, I want to be you. I don't want to just help you. And that's really what was the switch to me as I thought. And again, I'd already had that article published by entrepreneur and there was a Harvard business school professor actually about two years ago. We're just out of the blue. Uh, and I barely knew her, uh, Amy Edmondson. She's a fabulous leadership professor and she picks up my entrepreneur article and retweeted it and said, this one is worth another look. And I kinda thought, boy, I better get off my Def and go ahead and write that book. And so all of those things were kind of happening at the same time. Um, and so that's kind of what happened,
Speaker 0 00:13:56 Right? So let's, let's dive into that. So what an MBA taught me, but my kids made me learn, Oh, where should we go with that one? T tell me about that as a concept. And actually let's explore some of perhaps your Harvard experience, because if you're talking about premiere institutions, it's well up there, isn't it. And yet your kids perhaps had an even more profound effect.
Speaker 1 00:14:20 Well, sure. Well, you can't, um, they're not as forgiving. Right. You know? Um, but so yes, I did get my MBA from Harvard and Harvard does an incredible job of teaching people skills. So there's a very famous book, um, from 30 years ago and it's still a best seller of what my Harvard MBA didn't teach me. I think it was called by Mark McCormick. And his argument is people skills are what really matter. And his, um, assessment is you don't learn that at Harvard. Well, I found the opposite to be true is I found that in my MBA, everything about the institution was organized to help with people's skills. And I'll give you a two, a couple of examples. One is it's by the case study method. So just the content we never once read from a textbook. The content is all about a protagonist. So here's Peter Lewis.
Speaker 1 00:15:15 He's going to launch a podcast. Should he do X? Or should he do, why should he add advertising? Or should he not, should he bring in this kind of guests or not? Whatever it is you get to know that person, you get to know their challenge. And, um, you're basically saying other people's problems I'm going to learn from other people's moves or other people's mistakes is what I like to think about it. And so that in and of itself is, um, building up, uh, a people skill, right? Um, but then we do it in a classroom of 80 individuals. And for the whole first year, you're with the exact same 80 people. And it becomes, it starts to feel like it's a family of five because you get to know every person so well. And one of our professors at a reunion said it best. He said, you came here five years ago with a story to tell you left world-class listeners. And I would argue that there's no one more important people skill than the ability to listen. And my two year MBA was a crash course in listening because the
Speaker 2 00:16:27 Classroom is an hour and a half.
Speaker 1 00:16:29 The professor speaks at most 15 minutes throughout that hour and a half. And the other 80 people chime in, they have to think about the details of this case. They have to think about the financial analysis that they've already worked out. But more importantly, I can never say what Frank just said or what more you're just said or what Courtney said, I have to go find something different. So that's the thing I had in my mind. I gotta be listening for that. And I must say things like, well, I disagree with what Anjali said or I would like to build on what so and so said, and then the next person has to build on me and the next person. And so the amount, the skill of listening is phenomenal. Um, well, to your point though, life is about listening. Uh, entrepreneurship is certainly about listening for the next pivot, listening for what prospects need and reacting appropriately. And for goodness sakes, parenting is all about listening to whether it's the teeny tiny baby that we're trying to figure out. Is that an overtired cry or is it a hungry cry too? Is it the teenager who's feeling left out at school and intimidated about the basketball team? Uh, listening is really critical.
Speaker 0 00:17:53 That's, that's it? I love that, uh, that case study method and how the, you know, the professor was only speaking 15, 20 minutes tops. And then it's almost like, you know, you've got your protagonist and the case study it's that sort of hero's journey that you're going on with them. And I guess you can relate to that protagonist in business or, or maybe you can't, but it forces you to think about it from different perspectives, but then you're just opening your ears up here. Um, it's a men mentor of mine once said, you know, people don't need a damn good talking to, they need the damn good listening to, and I think we, we miss that. We miss the importance of it. And I'm trying to get that over to my, my kids are 18 and 15 at the moment, and they love to jump in and complete my sentence and talk over each other. It's like, they look just, just stop be patient because you may find out far more, but, so why is that such a difficult skill? Do you think that obviously cleared was developed well at Harvard, but in leadership and management teams is an often overlooked skill. What, why do you think that is?
Speaker 1 00:18:56 So it's a, I'll give you two reasons. One is, they're both sort of in the sales context, I think is the easiest way to think about them. Uh, and when you talk about the timeframe that I just laid out the hour and a half, and the professor talks 15 minutes, I have used that in business to think about sales calls. And oftentimes a phone call for me was about an hour. And for me, I like to think about, um, you know, a traditional clock. That's a circle, not a digital clock. And I envision a 60 minute circular clock as more like a pie chart of time. And what I have learned based on thinking through the Harvard classroom model is that I should speak as the sales person, 30 ish percent of that pot, then maybe 35%, the other 65 to 70%. It's my job to get my prospect talking now, very few prospects, get on the phone and say, hi, Peter, I have a $10,000 budget.
Speaker 1 00:20:01 I want something delivered by Tuesday. The competitor is offering, you know, $12,000. You know, no one is going to offer that to you. So I have to speak just like the professor. I have to kind of grease the skids. I have to start the conversation, but it's all about the questions I have to get really good at, um, opening up the rapport building and then kind of feeding into, have you ever seen that? How did that feel? What were some of the problems you encountered? How well did that work, um, who else was involved and really, um, getting into a rhythm of I'll talk for 20 seconds to get you to talk for three minutes, all plug in for 10 more seconds to get you to talk for six more minutes. And for me, I'm a very visual person that clock as a pie chart really helps me, but you asked the question, why don't we do that?
Speaker 1 00:20:59 Why is that so hard? And I think one of the reasons that's so hard is we don't, when we train sales executives, Hey, we don't do that clock thing. And B we don't even train on a list of 10 great questions. What we train is 10 features and benefits of our company. We list the features and benefits. We test our sales teams to make sure they know them. The last that the best way to get your prospect to shut up is to list your features and benefits. They say, thank you very much. The call is over. It's the absolute worst thing we can do is list our features and benefits. And yet that's what we train into people doing. And so I hope that answers your question is we, we, we start out wrong. So of course we're going to finish wrong.
Speaker 0 00:21:50 Yeah. So we know that going into sales mode or tell mode. So you don't have to be in, in say, I guess we're all in sales in some way, but even, you know, that, that eagerness to demonstrate our competence or knowledge of what we know. So back to my children, they're eager, I've got to applaud them. They're he gets to let me know that they've got an opinion on this or whatever like that. But that's, that's a reframe in itself is that they're not interrupting. They're just eager to let me know. Um, but, but there is that sort of ego position of, of actually I don't feel, I don't feel comfortable in not speaking because one, I haven't developed that as a skill, but equally I'm fearful that actually, I wouldn't be able to tell you all the great things I can do instead of understanding all the great things that you might need or not as the case may be. I love the, I love the pie chart analogy, thinking about the clock face and just apportioning more of that energy in that time and space for them, because you'll probably learn far more in, in, in doing so. Um,
Speaker 1 00:22:47 And is there anything that you had talked about you kind of hinted is we don't, um, I don't know what word you just use, but, but we don't want there to be silence. We want to jump in, not only with what I know, uh, but with the, the number one and I'll use the sales analogy as well, but I've seen the same thing in parenting. The number one sales person I've ever met had a longer pause. She was more comfortable with silence, then pretty much any person I've ever met. And so she would be in a prospect meeting and someone would say something like, well, how much does it cost? Because I have a $10,000 budget. They wouldn't, she would wait. And then they would offer the money. And that, you know, if you can do that, um, in business, if you can do that in a negotiation, it's amazing how most of us are uncomfortable with silence and we will give away information when that's actually a really good time to be receiving it.
Speaker 0 00:23:55 Yeah. It's interesting that, yeah, that discomfort, but equally, I mean, with the work I do with leaders, I, I say to them, you know, actually get better at listening because you can't possibly know all the answers you can't possibly have all bases covered and tell people what to do all the time. But if you got better at asking questions and then listening to the expertise that you've hired, I mean, why, why hire great people and do the work yourself? It's, you know, you've hired great people, give them an opportunity to tell you what they know and get into that sort of consult mode, but get comfortable with not knowing the answers, but get really good at asking questions. So kind of have a Socratic approach to your leadership is that yeah. Put P and it's not to test people. It's just a genuinely find out because you can't possibly know everything. Um, and although our children would have us believe that they know everything, but that's, that's the, we all went on that, that passage. Tell me,
Speaker 1 00:24:50 Peter, I'm wondering I have a 17 year old and a 14 year old, and it's funny, you mentioned Harvard. My kids are convinced Harvard is some small town in South Carolina and I must've driven through it. Um,
Speaker 0 00:25:04 Love that, love that. Let's, let's talk more about the, uh, the, the, the content of the book or the things that people could learn from that. And he says, you know, what, what ha what the MBA taught me, but the kids made me learn that I'll invite you to put out some of the, some of the elements of that. So to share with our audience, some of that insight, that learning.
Speaker 1 00:25:25 Sure, absolutely. So it's basically organized around key people, skills, things like focus, resilience, listening, gratitude, collaboration, negotiation. Those are examples of chapter titles. There's a little bit in there on, um, the imposter syndrome. These are the kinds of things that over I've had the blessing of, as I mentioned, coaching hundreds of entrepreneurs and I've been able to do so spanning 24 countries and more, you know, it's so, um, the themes are really consistent. And so what I try to do in the book is look at each of these topics from what I would call three lenses. And so, um, I hope it feels like, Hey, come to my kitchen table and we'll have a cup of coffee. And we chat. It is, uh, very much trying to just share and connect with people and maybe encourage. Um, but the three lenses are me attending business school and what that experience was like, and I will go into detail, like I just did about the classroom environment.
Speaker 1 00:26:31 Um, and then the second would be me as an entrepreneur and business person throughout my 20 years of being able to work, not only as a founder of a few companies, but as an investor, a mentor as a coach, um, as someone who has run a nonprofit to encourage entrepreneurs. And then the third is, uh, as a parent. So these are the things I was taught. These are the things that I experienced, and these are the things that really shaped me into gear. And I try to tell all sorts of stories like that. Um, so gratitude is probably one of my favorites. Um, so obvious and so easy. And yet it's so powerful, but not always embraced.
Speaker 0 00:27:16 That's the internet. You're not the first podcast guest to talk about gratitude. I would say of the episode so far, the things that come up most commonly are gratitude and practicing mindfulness. Wow. I think they both have a common link in sort of just being present and in the moment, uh, be it as a leader, entrepreneurial, whatever. So I'd like to just pull that your, your what's your perspective on, on, on that gratitude piece, and then perhaps we'll segue into some of those other things that you've you've had.
Speaker 1 00:27:50 Well, one thing I was just talking about really specifically as a thank you note. So, um, we got in the habit as a family of writing daily, thank you notes. And I would set them out on the kitchen table. And at the time I was the single mother sole provider of three different kids and this demanding, and I had an, a commute of over an hour. And so when I got home, uh, prior to the thank you note practice, I was often met at the door with hi mom, what's for dinner over life versus soccer practice. We need to buy new shoes. And it was a lot, right. I already had a big day and through some different things, I got really lucky and we ended up saying, you know what, let's do this, thank you. Note thing we used to write, thank you notes after a birthday or after Christmas, but now I said, how about we just make it a daily habit?
Speaker 1 00:28:45 And it was so amazing because the change in attitude, even if they think, you know, it never got mailed out, even if it didn't get received or read, which we tried to get a mailed out and received the red, but the act of thinking through, should I write my soccer coach or my teacher or my grandparent, uh, and actually writing down and in my, one of my sons at the time was so young, he had, you know, five, four, two knew how to write, but so he would draw a soccer ball and signed his name, but it was just this act of thinking through it and doing something for someone else. I was then met at the door with, hi mom, I love you. How was your day? And it was like a light switch difference. And so that's real, real evidence that this thank you, thing works. Um, so,
Speaker 0 00:29:37 So I'm interested with that, um, where actually writing full blown letters and notes, or just noting down who to be grateful for.
Speaker 1 00:29:49 It was a note card. So initially I just had blank note cards. I buy them by the three hundreds and you could, you must pick up one and you must write a thank you note. And by the time I get home, I want to see who you chose to write to. Um, as time went on, I got myself in a little bit of trouble because my job was to put the names and addresses and stamp and send them all off. Um, and sometimes I fell down on that job and then they would be rightfully my children would be angry. I bothered to write a note to aunt Wendy, how come it never got mailed kind of thing. Right. So I got a little, um, I got smarter and I would pre address and stamped envelopes, uh, to our typical people. So, you know, coaches and neighbors and whomever, and then your job was just to choose one and write that note and it would get into the mail.
Speaker 1 00:30:44 And what was so great about this was, um, I had a situation at work where, uh, I was so lucky, and this is really where the book came is, right. When I thought my career was supposed to die, I had been at home, I'd sold a company and I was at home with the children as sustain home mom for six years. And I thought, Oh, how can I ever go back to work? Well, actually what happened is that's when my career took off. And so, uh, that's how I got the idea behind the book was I thought, what, and I kept getting thank you notes from different people. Thank you for helping us find this investor. Thank you for, um, hosting this conference. And I kept wondering, what am I doing? That's helping so many companies. And then I asked the question, where did I get this skill to do that thing?
Speaker 1 00:31:36 And the answer was always, I got this skill, not from Harvard. I got the skill. Not necessarily from being an entrepreneur. I got the skill because I was a mom. And so that's the backdrop of why I wrote the book, but it all began with the thank you notes. I was getting from these 300 companies. So long story is I was receiving thank you notes, but we were a nonprofit. So I had a hundred different funders that were making our economic development efforts happen. And so it was always writing, thinking, it's always writing. Thank you notes. And one day I went home and it was a really tiring day and I got home and I thought, well, gosh, the baby still needs a bath. And to be fed. And I looked at the homework for the other kids, and I had a preschooler and his homework said, be ready to for 20 minutes.
Speaker 1 00:32:26 And my first grader's homework said, read for 20 minutes. And I thought, who, where is this 40 minutes gonna come from? Right. I gotta make dinner or pay the baby, put her to bed. And I going, you know, she can read to him. I went like this, boom. I poured a glass of wine and had a lovely dinner. And it was your rate the next day at the office. I'm thinking about sort of these things on my left. I'm receiving thank you notes. And these things on my right, where my entire team is sitting down and writing. Thank you notes. And I'm thinking about, um, you know, just the benefit of it. So we started to put out a table of thank you notes that were already addressed to our funders. So whenever you came into our office, because you wanted to be a podcast guest, or you were on our little TV show that we did, or you were coming to our maker-space, as you left, you usually said, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 00:33:30 I would say, do you have five more minutes? Would you mind sitting down and writing? I'll give you the opportunity to be in touch with some of the mucky mucks of the town. And you write a thank you note. You can include your own card. And I collapsed if you will. Those two tasks, not unlike I collapsed the two tasks at home, it was such a beautiful thing because the funders used to write, you know, hundreds of thousands of dollars of checks to a blind black box, hoping it was making a difference. Now they were getting anyway. So I'm a huge, huge fan of thank you notes. And they can be leveraged in so many ways.
Speaker 0 00:34:10 I love that. I love that. It's real. So practical, tangible evidence of how that works itself. That's absolutely fascinating. And I, for one will want to get a hold of your book and read that cause I'm sure there's so many other things that your kids have taught you, but what I'd like to, to do to sort of bring our time to a close is that clearly you've got a lot of experience behind you as an entrepreneur, the student and lifelong kind of learner and everything else. But when those moments and relating to the podcast, you know, give yourself the chat. When those moments really kind of get on top of you, how, how do you kind of pull yourself up by your bootstraps or just get yourself to do what needs to be done, even when you don't feel like it, I'll be interested to know what your take on, give yourself the chat is.
Speaker 1 00:34:55 Thank you. Um, so I have had some, I've had plenty of bad days and at one point I was staring down $700,000 of personal debt. Um, that was a really bad day when my daughter actually, I tell the story of how she woke me up to this, um, uh, that the lie I was telling myself was not working right. And, um, so I've definitely had plenty of bad days. And around that time I went and not only raised the three kids, but I was literally working three full time jobs, uh, to, um, pull myself out. And I remember people saying on a regular basis to me, how do you do all that? You and you do it with a smile and you do it with a smile. And the only answer I could answer was because I could never do it with a friend, right.
Speaker 1 00:35:50 And that is the best advice I can tell you is, you know, before we're going to go on a run, we're going to get a drink of water and we're going to feed ourselves something before we're going to go do anything. You know, we know the importance of getting a good night's sleep. We do all, we prepare for a test, but so often we show up to life with a bad attitude. We show up to life thinking of all the reasons we're too. Um, ill-equipped for, we show up for all of the problems that are facing us, and it's unlike getting a good night's sleep, eating right, having enough hydration, which really only helps your own body, a good attitude and a smile not only helps your own energy level, but everyone around you that you need to interact with. And so it has doubled the power of a good breakfast. And so one of the things I learned and I'm really lucky to learn is that I get to choose how I perceive this opportunity and this moment, and it does not have to come from how I feel, and it doesn't have to come from my assessment of whether or not I'm smart enough or equipped enough or experienced enough. It comes from how much I want to make of this moment.
Speaker 0 00:37:10 Yeah. That's, that's just really powerful that being intentional and deciding to do it, it's, uh, I kind of resonate with that. So, so, well, thank you. That that's really been, it's been fascinating talking to you. If, if people would like to find out more about what you do get in contact, how do they go about doing that?
Speaker 1 00:37:29 Oh, I would absolutely love to hear from any of your podcast guests. So my name is B E a w R a Y, and that's actually my website. And so anyone can come find me there. You can find me on Twitter. You can find me on Instagram. Send me a private message. Um, please, please, please. The book is also available that you can just type in my last name on Amazon and you might my first and last name and you will find it. It's what an MBA taught me and the tagline, but my kids made me learn. Um, but if you just type in the first and last name, you will find it. What I would love for anyone who does buy the book in pre-sale is drop me a line because I have a special gift to give to any of your podcast guests. If I have the chance to hear from them, I bought the book. I heard you on the podcast, please, please drop me a line and I'll give you a hand. It might have something to do with my love for writing. Thank you notes. So, um, but this is a very special one designed specifically. Uh, I really hope to hear from your listeners, the list is that's
Speaker 0 00:38:36 Great. I mean, that's so generous and advance, so thank you for that. And, and I, for one will be, um, going to get a copy B, it's been an absolute pleasure to meet with you again, um, under different circumstances this time I'm on zoom. Um, I hope your mom has the most fabulous birthday this weekend. Um, enjoy the celebrations, enjoy the company of family. And, uh, I look forward to perhaps having you on the podcast again in the field.
Speaker 3 00:39:00 Absolutely. Thank you so much. Super fun.
Speaker 0 00:39:09 So I hope you enjoyed that episode as much as I enjoy chatting to be there. It's, it's amazing when you think about, um, a lot of the things that we can conceptually get hold of around gratitude and intentionality and all these other things really come to life. When you start to practically use them in your everyday day to day business or family life, and that the, the power of just taking action, which this podcast is all about was really exemplified there in my chat with be really looking forward to her book coming out. It's released in January, 2021 here in the UK. Um, if you get ahold of it in preorder, please take me up on her offer. And I'm sure she'd be delighted to hear from you in the meantime, though, if you'd like to connect with me, hop on over to my website at Peter Lewis, coaching.com, please let's start a conversation. What would you like me to talk about on this podcast? Which guests do you think I should have on? And it will be fascinating to get that insight and perhaps arrange that for you. So thank you so much for tuning in again, and I look forward to seeing you on the next day.
