Episode Transcript
Speaker 0 00:00:00 Hello, and welcome to give yourself the chat. I'm your host, Peter Lewis. And this is the show dedicated to discussing ideas and philosophies to help you live a life of high performance. So, hi everyone. Welcome to another episode of give yourself a chat podcast. I have a lady with me at the moment on avant golf, who is surviving on, I think some like three hours sleep having recently crude for a Tony Robbins unleash the power of virtual event, which we're going to dive into in a moment. So I really do appreciate your time on it being with me.
Speaker 1 00:00:31 Thank you so much. It's such an honor to be here, Peter, and I'm currently surviving on, I think it is three hours sleep. I might have had 10 over the entire four days sleep 10 hours sleep over four days, but I still really wanted to come and talk to you because obviously after a Tony event, you're just so fired up. You're so passionate about everything in your life. I was like, I have to talk to this guy.
Speaker 0 00:00:52 Well, I certainly appreciate it. And I know the listeners will as well. I mean, we'll, we'll dive into Tony Robbins experience. I remember many years ago doing unleash the power within, at the Excel center here in London and the firewalk and everything. And you do you come away, you've got so many ideas and I can only imagine, cause I think you've crude for Tony now three times, haven't you? So, um, I mean, you're kind of on the inside of it, so it must be even more energetic and knowing what's coming as well. So we'll pause the Tony thing, you know, I'm, I'm really curious to know on your sort of social media profile and everything you talk about being Dutch in these, what's the story there on,
Speaker 1 00:01:28 It's a good story. So as you've heard, my name is art of a whole, and that is obviously a Dutch name because my father is Dutch, very blue eyes, very pale. And my mother is Taiwanese and growing up, I had a lot of issues with my identity because when I was in Taiwan growing up, I went to an American school, which gave me an American accent, which didn't help things. So I was a foreigner in Taiwan and it was a foreigner in Holland and it seemed like everywhere. I went, people really wanted to put me in a box. That's all they wanted to do. Where are you from? You know, you must be American. No, I'm not. And, and so the, the phrase of term, I guess, came out of a time in my life. I like to call it my quarter life breakthrough, where I, I was just like, you know what enough is enough? And I'm going to stop kind of taking on these personalities or even identities that people are throwing on me. And I'm just going to create my own version of it. And I can be unapologetic about it because I have a name for it. So you can't take it away from me now.
Speaker 0 00:02:27 Yeah. So, so, but by giving it a name and a sort of label, does that just, is that more for other people too? It's interesting. What, what is, what is in that language or that term that, that you own that helps either yourself or others?
Speaker 1 00:02:42 I think it is a little bit for others in the sense that I can give them something to hold onto, because if I just said, listen, I'm just me. You know? Or if I tell them I'm Ana the wonder woman they're going to go. Yeah, thanks. That's cute. But, okay. Whereas if I say I'm Dutch Chinese, they're like, Oh, what's that? You know, where, where does that come from? And they actually become curious and they ask questions and it gives me a great opportunity to explain to them and show them myself at my true self, you know, without, you know, being the timid princess, like Taiwanese person that is a stereotype or the super straightforward and super tall and blonde Dutch girl. Right. Because, you know, I remember my first ever job coming out of university when I graduated from Leeds, you know, all the way back to those many years ago, I got a job at a travel agency and they admitted to me in my first week, you know how we saw your resume.
Speaker 1 00:03:32 We expected a tall blonde Dutch girls walked through the door and we got you instead. And so at the time I didn't understand what that meant. And it took me some time to figure it out. And I think that's why I was like, you know what, I'm just calling. I'm going to call myself that unis. I'm going to call my company that because then that is kind of engraved and edged on. People cannot kind of start, try to take that away from me because they have a name for it. So they have no excuse to be ignorant to who it is that I am.
Speaker 0 00:04:02 Yeah. It's interesting. That's I'm in my 50th year now. So my wife's turned 50 this weekend. So I didn't have a Tony Robbins virtual event, but I am absolutely exhausted having kept so many secrets and surprised zoom parties and gatherings. So I've hit Monday now thinking wad. So I'm really glad that the pair of us can kind of keep our energy up. But as I approach my 50th year, you know, I still wrestle with this idea or of identity and, and also having the strength or the conviction to be myself because there's so many pressures to sort of fit ourselves in boxes. Or so the fact that you had, did you describe it as your quarter life breakthrough? So what I think is something that actually you can, it doesn't matter when it comes. I think the important thing is, is when you do identify that moment, when you just say, do you know what this, this is life on my terms, this is how I want to be known as, and if you're not comfortable with it, then that's your problem. And so I think listeners to this, don't worry if that hasn't happened to you yet. You know, it's kind of happening to me. Part of this podcast is, is a way for me to get my message out there and say, do you know what you need the light, this or not, but this is what I want to talk about. So here it is, you know?
Speaker 1 00:05:15 Absolutely. And you know, there is so much fear and there is so much pressure and I've been so privileged. Like, you know, there was a period after my quarter-life breakthrough where I actually lived in four different countries on three continents in the space of two years. So Denmark, UK, Taiwan, Australia, all in the space of two years and I needed to kind of go out there and, you know, be a foreigner and, you know, find out like how British I was because I became an adult in the UK. So I have a very special connection with England. And, you know, I always used to joke, Oh, I'm 20% British because I love PG tips. And you know, my favorite British meals, a Sunday roast, does that really mean I'm British or does it just make me super fun and interesting because, you know, I decided to make the UK my home for so long and it doesn't matter, does it really matter?
Speaker 1 00:06:08 You know, and I, and I think that, especially actually, because I was in Yorkshire for so long, you know, they have a very strong sense of identity here. You know, I am a Yorkie Yorkshire first English, second British second English third, depending on who you're speaking to. And so I think there was always a part of me that really, and so I was really kind of clawing until yeah. You know, I, I was 25. I was in a relationship that I no longer loved. I was working a job that I absolutely low. They gave me so much anxiety, just having to wake up in the morning to do my job. And, and I was like, you know, I'm not doing this anymore. I'm going to go out there and just see what the world has to offer, because there's so much to offer when you open your eyes, when you allow opportunity come, you actually see so much more.
Speaker 1 00:06:51 And I experienced it in my business all the time. It's funny story, actually, I wasn't going to crew Tony Robbins virtual event. I'll be quite honest. I had a bit of a rough June because it was, you know, months, three of them pandemic we've been in lockdown. I'm usually, you know, somewhere else, once every four to six weeks, I'm in a European country, I'm traveling, going to see friends. And I had, hadn't been able to do that. So I kind of hit a bit of a low point and I went, who am I again? Like, what, what does it mean to run my business? What does it mean to be an online entrepreneur that serves other people to help them with their strategies and help them make more money and back their first client and all of these things. So I didn't want to change, I didn't want to, you know, experience growth because I was just so comfortable, my sad little self, and then, you know, so what I do for them, for Tony, I'm a logger and it's not a very nice name, cue all the funny jokes about poo, but it's, I type everything that they say on stage because they need to have a real time log of what is happening, what is being said, and who goes off stage, who comes on stage, how far behind are we on different things and how, you know, are we on schedule all of these things?
Speaker 1 00:08:01 And there's only a very small handful of people that do it really, really well because you do need some experience in it. And so I'd already done it twice before. And because I love automations and tech and understanding things organizationally, you know, I'm naturally gravitated to the role, of course. And so I was actually asked personally to come and join the event and do the logging because they knew that I'd be on top of it. So I got to create an entirely new protocol, entire new set of automations for this process virtually. So that the team, I think there were eight of us, you know, trying to handle all the different things that were coming at us all the time. And I felt alive again. And I was like, okay, Oh, so this is what I'm missing. You know, Tony comes on stage on day one.
Speaker 1 00:08:46 And like, I start welling up a little bit because he's in this room room and it's like this circular wall thing and can see 5,000 people at the same time. And there's 25,000 people that are attending. So, you know, the screens keeps switching and these things, and it was just so, yeah, it was so exciting. There was just something electric in the air and he could tell, you could tell the comment box could tell. And it was actually an extremely wonderful event, especially for people that wouldn't normally have access to do this because it's really expensive to fly to Miami on a, I wasn't a woman. It was quite planned last year, but I flew to Miami to serve with Tony Robbins served for Tony Robbins. And yeah, you know, that, that, that was a big commitment financially as well. And so we have people from 146 countries attending, you know, across all different time zones.
Speaker 1 00:09:39 And, and when you are part of something bigger than yourself, that's when you really start to realize like, okay, like I have a space in this world. I was one of those 23,000 people, right. Experiencing transformation, I matter. And I think when we grow up and we're told, you know, children are meant to be seen, not heard, right? We're told you have to be a doctor or an engineer, or, you know, a list of wonderful, wonderful jobs that you need to have. And we beat ourselves down because we didn't make that, you know, I, I went to a prep school in Taiwan. It was very intense, very American. And I'm pretty sure that like a third of my class are doctors now. And that's what I grew up with. That's the comparison that my mom has when she goes to her, you know, events. And, and so that kind of pressure trickles down on you and pushes down.
Speaker 1 00:10:37 But if you take a different path, there is support out there. And, you know, that's why I love being an entrepreneur so much. And that's why I love supporting entrepreneurs so much because I get to see people's transformation on that path. One of my first clients he's doing so well now he quit his job. His full time job, you know, went full time on his business. And he had his first five figure month last month. And so, you know, transformation is possible. And I forgot that. I forgot that in June, I missed all the drama,
Speaker 0 00:11:10 But that's a, that's a perfectly human thing. And we've all felt during pandemic. And as we record this, we're still in pandemic or partial liftoff locked down, whatever it is. It's in a really interesting phase as we're trying to move back to normality. But I think that's sort of your experience there of just checking back in with likeminded individuals, feeling that their support, but equally feeling that other people are equally finding it tough. And I think that's one of the great things. You don't have to be on a, a huge Tony Robbins event to feel that cause I know in your coaching that you want to, you know, you and I want to create that with groups going forward, but for those people that are listening into this and didn't quite witness the Tony Robbins experience, it must have been the biggest zoom call history so far.
Speaker 0 00:11:54 I mean, it was just looked amazing. This is bank of, of sort of thought it was some nails on video screens and, and Tony really in the mix of, and having experienced Tony live, as I said, back in the Excel center, I mean, that was amongst 5,000 people and just the energy in the room. But I can imagine that energy, I think we said off air is even more intense and intimate experience even though everyone's remote and they're not doing fireworks together of course, but what was it about techs? I know you're a big fan of, of using technology and leveraging technology to help your clients, everything. What was it? Even though it was technology that made it such an intimate event. And I guess how, how do we recreate that for the people that we work in on a much smaller scale?
Speaker 1 00:12:37 That's a really great question. So I'll be honest. I think there's many ways that I'm still figuring it out because every single week I am finding new software, new website things and you know, I'm the kind of person I'll try anything. Once I remember when many chat first came out, I was like on it, like a car bonnet. And I was just like, yes, let's make a chat bot. It didn't go anywhere, but I knew how to do it. And because I did that so early on so quickly, I actually in the last year have built like five or six chatbots for people, you know, on the side cause I enjoy doing it and then I get paid to do it. And it's cool. And so I think is really about exploring what is right for you. What makes sense for you because you know, in the Tony Robbins event, what happens?
Speaker 1 00:13:24 So this, this is a little bit of a Rubik's cube, 23,000 people split into 75 rooms watching the main room that was kind of the pyramid structure. And, and so you're in a room with like 300 other people and the chat box is going crazy. Cause everybody wants to have a little bit of say right. And people are struggling because they can't log in. They can't log back in and they can't hear the sound or whatever. And I think it's about, you know, taking a step back and saying, what is it that I really need? Well, I really need zero in my business because it costs me, I don't know, 15 pounds a month. And what is my turnover? It doesn't make sense right now, you know, can I just stick to Stripe? And, and like, what can I automate? Like, so this is one of the biggest things that I find a lot of people waste so much time in decision.
Speaker 1 00:14:15 I really struggle with that concept because I've set my life up so that I don't have to decide anything if I don't want to. I know what I'm eating for dinner tonight. I know I want eating for dinner for the rest of the week. All the foods already in the fridge. I don't have to go to the shop anymore. I know what I'm posting on Facebook today, Wednesday, Saturday for the next two weeks. I know what I'm posting on Facebook because I know that normally Monday mornings are really good time for me to do content I'm refreshed from the weekend. You know, I'm fired up. Actually I might end up doing some content this morning, you know, I'm fired up because, you know, I had some time to think about, I wanted to say. And so I prepare that in advance in the way that is automation, because I know that I'm at my best on a Monday morning.
Speaker 1 00:14:59 So instead of going on Wednesday, Oh God, I have to post something say, Oh God, I have to do this. And you spend, you waste so much time being afraid of what you have to do, thinking about what you should, should do. That. It actually takes a lot of time and energy away from you. So in my automations coaching, it actually starts very personal and away from technology. What is it that you want? What is it that you do well? When are you at your best? You know, I have an alter ego wonder woman, Arna. She only comes out 20% of the time and I don't need her to come out anymore because the rest of the time I'm preparing for when she does come out, that she's her own fabulous self. And that makes my life so much easier. It takes the pressure off of having to be perfect all the time, because we're all human at the end of the day.
Speaker 0 00:15:47 Yeah, that's a really good point. So I want to unpack a few bits around automation and, and routine it's IQ, you know, on a weekend, I schedule all my social media posts for the next week or so in my business, I have time blocks. So this mornings time block is a podcast time blog piece like that. And I think this idea of once you've made a decision, you don't have to expend any more energy thinking about what do I need to decide upon. And, and I think when you get that joke, it really frees you up to be creative. It frees you up to be spontaneous. And the phrase, I don't know where I got it from, but routine actually sets you free routine sets you free now. And I do a lot of work in the video games industry. And quite often, you know, working with creative types, they don't want necessarily sort of structures and routines in the studio because they have a sense of if that's going to take away my creative expression, once I no far from it, automating all those things, which really don't add to the creative expression means that actually you end up having more energy and more clarity around your creativity.
Speaker 0 00:16:51 So it sounds paradoxical, but actually setting systems up, having routines and timetables that allows you then to dance in the moment far more. And I think that's not just entrepreneurs. I think that's everyone. It's almost like once you've decided for instance, your, your meal plans, you don't have to waste any more energy thinking about what you're going to have to eat. So therefore he can put that energy into something more productive. That's as simple as that. I mean, so starting off with the outcome, the effect you want, because you can get seduced can't you buy all these, these gadgets and whistles and bells.
Speaker 1 00:17:24 Yeah. And you know, I see these business coaches with their, you must have these five apps. It's like, no, you must not only get what is worth, what works for you. Like if you have a really great VA, if you have a really great social media manager, don't pay for Canva, you don't need to, they'll do it for you. So, you know, it really depends on, on, you know, your and where you are. And, and, you know, there's always room for scaling and growth as well. You know, this is a really random point. It just came to me, you know, one of my favorite CRMs is active campaign and, you know, you can go up the ranks, right? Like you can say, right, okay. I want you to have, you know, less than 500 people on my email list, I don't have to pay as much like that kind of thought process.
Speaker 1 00:18:11 We should be applying into our business lives. And also our personal lives. I don't have kids. I can, you know, spend more time doing other things or I can kind of adopt somebody and like, you know, send them gifts all the time. Cause I love doing that too. And I do, I do like kids don't really want them. And so, you know, there are different ways that you can actually make your life more meaningful and more enjoyable because, you know, famously Mark Zuckerberg, he wears the same clothes to work every single day. It's a black tee shirt and jeans. That's all he wears because he doesn't have to worry about it. And, and you know, I'll be honest. I didn't really think about what I was going to wear on this podcast. And, you know, as a woman, I'm stereotyped to have to think about that, but this is my Monday outfit, you know, who do you want a shirt? Like, I'm not going to worry about that because I'm comfortable with who I am. I'm comfortable with how I come across with my energy and you know, with my personality and all the experience that I have to connect with you. And that's all we need.
Speaker 0 00:19:17 Yeah. No, totally agree. Totally agree. So in your work you help entrepreneurs and he helped him sort of scale through technology and fine tuning strategies and things like this. A lot of the listening community to this podcast are in business and they may not be entrepreneurs, but they're certainly in business there. What kind of patterns do you see that hold people back from, you know, either scaling their business or just getting further on in their business. Do you see sort of patterns emerging with the work that you do?
Speaker 1 00:19:46 Absolutely. There's a couple. And one thing I'll say is people like comfort. And as our great friend, Tony Robbins says, life happens outside your comfort zone. And so that's the way we've always done it. I hear that a lot, especially when we're trying to kind of navigate new systems. It's like, Oh, but this is too complicated. I don't want to do this cause I've always done it this way. And it's always worked fine. Yes. What, that's also why you're not a six figure coach because you're, you're using five figure implementation and there's that resistance to change that often can be challenging. And that is where a lot of mindset work is required. Even in automation to say, what can I let go of? Because I think, you know, especially in the last couple of years, we've seen the rise of the solo preneur, right? One man bands, one woman show.
Speaker 1 00:20:44 And it's very easy to want to hold on to. And I, I see it even in myself, you know, I still write all of my own social media posts. Do I need to do that? Can I, you know, export that to somebody else to do, you know, I love writing. So for me, it's like, no, I still really enjoy this. I still have time for this. I'm good with this. But it's about getting really, really honest with yourself about what it is that you're doing the amount of times, especially women that say, Oh, I'll just do this quickly. How many times a week do you say that? And how much time are you spending on? I'll just do this quickly because I'll bet you anything. If you add it up, it amounts to two to three hours, which is a really amazing afternoon nap.
Speaker 0 00:21:29 Yeah. There's a great payoff.
Speaker 1 00:21:31 Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 0 00:21:33 The fact that deciding what it is that you can outsource, but equally deciding what, what is your swim lane? You know, so for instance, if you absolutely love writing, then why not own your social media posts because you know your truth and your voice comes out through that. But equally there's a ton of other things you could do. And it's not a, it's not a sign of weakness to say, I want somebody else to do that. It's just thinking about paving the way to perhaps do more writing or whatever it might be. It's an interesting one there, but that being honest with yourself, I think really kind of resonates with me. It's not that I can't do it. It's should I be doing it? And that's the challenge. So I guess there's that you use a Tony's term there about, you know, change happens outside your comfort zone. I think you've got to be willing to challenge and have a look at what is going on and it may be convenient to do it, but, but ultimately does it serve you well? Does it serve your community? Well, and I guess I want to, you've got to be the, you gotta be an example. If you're helping people scale their business, then you've kind of got to do it yourself anyway, haven't you?
Speaker 1 00:22:38 The amount of time I spent on inner work and the amount of money I spend on inner work is kind of insane. I think in the last, in the last 18 months, it's been something close to 60,000 of us dollars. And you know, I do it with so much pleasure. I really enjoy the process of going deeper within myself and how I can help my clients go deeper within themselves as well. But I want to, I want to share a really interesting, hilarious story that happened to me last week. So you're gonna be the first person to hear this story. It's going on my social media later this week exclusive. Yes. So I have my iPhone. I love my iPhone. I've had it for a couple of years as an ex, but I remember getting, I was like, Oh my God, this is the coolest thing in the world.
Speaker 1 00:23:22 But last summer in June last year I was on a family holiday in Croatia and I dropped the phone and a little crack appeared in the top corner. And I was like, Oh my God, my phone is cracked. I have to be careful. I have to fix it like a cloud. How could it have been so stupid cracking my phone? Like I'm always so kind as the first time I've ever cracked my phone, you know, 30 years I'm alive. And I keep telling myself this story and then another crack appears, Oh God, you know? And then, so now I've been putting it off because I'm very comfortable in the story about Anna. You're so stupid. You broke your phone. You know, the first time you have like a super cool phone and break it. And last week I was staying at a friend's house and I said to her, I'll pay bill.
Speaker 1 00:24:09 You just take a picture of my screen. Cause I want Apple to give me a quote on how much it's going to cost to fix my screen because Oh yeah. Okay. Finally, because I've finally decided I'm ready to let go of that narrative Arnar. You're so stupid. You broke your phone, let's get you an actual phone. You know, you're a business owner, get yourself together. And she was like, that's the screen protector. I was like, what do you mean? I don't have a screen protector. It's the screen? He's like, no, it's a screen protector. And then she slid her thumb under the screen protector. And I was like, you're tearing off my screen. And she pulled it off. And there was a screen protector. I've been walking around a year with a cracked crumbling phone screen, protector telling myself that I was so stupid that I broke my phone screen.
Speaker 1 00:25:00 And I'm still learning the lessons from this number one. Why am I not digging deep enough? How come I was so ready to buy into this story that I broke my phones? How come I was so hard on myself to say, you're such a terrible person. You broke your phone screen. Second. Why did I punish myself for a year? A whole year? I punished myself. I could've gone to the Apple store at any time to change this, but why didn't I? And so asking these questions and kind of getting clear on, okay, well, what's funny is that this last year has been a lot about self love and this message keeps coming back. It keeps coming back. And I think that this is something everybody needs to learn. You need to love yourself. You need to forgive yourself and just fix it. If you know that it's broken, it's okay to fix it.
Speaker 1 00:25:59 You know, you're, you're allowed to be whole, and yet there's just such an ease about being a victim, right? It's easy to, Oh, like I'm just going to suffer. You know, it's a very Tony's trade. Actually. People love this whole self-sacrificing and again, it's about acknowledging that, okay. I am really prone to self sacrifice. So if I'm dating someone, I need to make sure that I push my boundaries. I enforce my boundaries because I am prone to do that. So it's about being willing to play with those different aspects of yourself and just being aware from a third person kind of perspective,
Speaker 0 00:26:37 Honor this as ever. There's, there's plenty to unpack there. I've really, I mean, even though the example of the phone, you think it's a city, but I think what it represents is really powerful. And I resonate with that. As I said to you, part of doing this podcast is really for me to work for my own shit, to quite Frank with you. So I invite all these great guests on, but it gives me a chance to talk about, and it brings out in me some of the things that I'm wrestling with, because I think we all wrestle with these things, these 40 scripts that we run, the fact that we don't give ourselves enough, love, not in a narcissistic way, in a way of just acceptance. We very easily accept other people's faults and we give them support, but we tend not to do that for ourself.
Speaker 0 00:27:19 And one of the challenges I've had over the years is suffering with depression. And one of the scripts that I ran was, well, hang on, I'm the, I'm an executive coach. I'm a life coach. I've studied all the inner work. This shouldn't be happening to me. And that denial of it shouldn't be habit to me was it was the very message of, Hey, all that stuff that you've been studying. Now's the time to apply it to yourself because it's one thing to help others on this, but why aren't you helping yourself with this? And it took a while for me to really accept that I needed to do that. And hence, this podcast is about just talking about that experience. And I think it's made me a better coach because actually it's not about the wise Sage on the stage telling you how to fix your life. It's like, do you know what I'm in this shit with you? And I'm working through this with you. But the really cool thing is that we can share our experiences and help each other through this. And it becomes a more powerful coaching experience. Really. I mean, this is one thing to do the inner work. I mean, you can read yourself into clarity, but ultimately you have to put this stuff into action. Don't you?
Speaker 1 00:28:22 I had a sales call a couple of months ago with a gentleman who wanted to read a thousand books. And he thought that reading a thousand books would make him a great coach. And he was interested in having me coach him, but I couldn't get him to budge on this one thing. And that is one of my core values. I am there with you. I am with you in the trenches. I have been there. You are me two years ago. I am cool with that. Let's do this and his unwillingness to see that I'm willingness to use his own experience bothered me. And I, I completely agree with you. We are better coaches because we have been there. We are better coaches because we have to ask ourselves the tough questions too. You know, it's incredible that you are doing this and that you are discovering a new side of yourself, you know, because that never ends. And that's not going to end. This pandemic has given you this gift and you've taken this gift and freaking run with it. And that's, that's incredible. That's more than, you know, 80, 90% of the people have done. So congratulations,
Speaker 0 00:29:25 Thank you on a bit, that's really kind of you to say, I really resonate though, with your client with, I want to read a thousand books because one of the big realizations I've had during this pandemic is that often my life has been about events and finish. I've been athletic all my life and do triathlons, things like this, but it's always been a case of right. Finish that one. What's the next one. And I've treated my whole life like a series of events. So one of my challenges was I want to read a book a week because that was a, that was a finished line. And I've realized that that pursuit of a finish line or an event really puts pressure on you and you kind of miss life happening in between. And so I, what I'm working on right now is just, let's not treat this as an event. Let's just treat this as just an ongoing perpetual process and that I don't think that's letting myself off. I think it's just trying to be present in the moment and just really work on what's hearing right now, rather than this pursuit of something that's always out in front of us. And we never quite get,
Speaker 1 00:30:26 I love that because it kind of, it kinda reminds me also of what I've been doing this weekend, you know, every 45 minutes, put your books down, stand up. If you've been to a Tony Robbins event, you know what to do, get your ass up, come on, let's go cue the music. Right. And I dunno, I, I, I just, I don't think we celebrate enough where we're not fun enough. Like, especially as coaches were so serious, like we're looking for the pattern, you know, Oh, you have to do this. I shouldn't be doing, I should be doing that. Right. And we just forget to have fun in the process. And you know, this weekend I laughed so much like honestly, Joseph McClendon, the third is so much funnier in the virtual space. And I was just literally, I was typing and just laughing at myself at the same time.
Speaker 1 00:31:14 I must've sounded like a crazy woman at three o'clock in the morning. And, and it was just like, why don't I last more, why am I not, you know, using this wonderful tool of laughter because there's so many benefits to it. And I'm actually trying, so if anybody's interested, please, I'm going to share it. How I'm going to, you can get in touch with me. Let's start a laughing yoga club. You know, every morning, 8:00 AM, 10 minutes, we just get online. We laugh and we leave. We don't have to talk or anything, which is laughingly because you know, when you're engaging your diaphragm and all these things that like boost your immune level, it boosts your like, not cortisol. The other one, you know, like it just makes you feel so much better. And I remember I did it for a little while. And instead of feeling on average seven, I was feeling average nine during the day. And it's just so powerful. It's like, what can you do to create more joy in your life? What can you do to create more fun? And let's not be so serious all the time?
Speaker 0 00:32:11 Well, no, I think you're right. There's, there's this idea of you can create that. And I think we get so stuck in our heads that we've, we lose that connection with our hearts and we lose that connections with just sort of being, and I like the, some of the esoteric and the sort of the out there stuff, but, you know, I'm grant, I'm a kind of scientific engineer grounded in, we shouldn't overlook all those things that add to the experience of, of how we bring the best of ourselves. And, and, and I think laughter and just having fun is important. And anyone that says, well, this is business. It's not about, you know, we talk about social media, the posts that make me laugh the most are the ones on LinkedIn that say, this is not Facebook. We shouldn't be experiencing, you know, having this seriously, what you've never been to work and had, had shared a joke with coworkers.
Speaker 0 00:32:55 What's different about this? You know, why do we have to sort of segment that part of ourselves for work and only save that for a weekend or when we've got a party type of thing. And how can we bring more of that and, and, and experience that particularly during pandemic, when we want to, we have to work harder at accessing that because it's not so readily available. If you're stuck in your home by yourself and sort of struggling with it, I just want to kind of start to finish off reading so I can speak to you all day. But I do know. So you talked about the Tony Robbins experience, but that's under the sort of inner work that you're doing and he invested heavily in what have you either been reminded of, or have learned relatively recently that kind of just helps and they leave it really quite wide frame. What have you been reminded of, or have learned recently? That just helps.
Speaker 1 00:33:47 Okay. So I'm going to have to like pick a direction, right? And I think, you know, everything that we've talked about so far, I would say, listen, come back and listen to this conversation again. Cause I know I will because it was a wonderful conversation. And also I'm struggling to pick what I want. So I'm going to pick one, I'm going to, I'm going to pick a lane, a lane, if you want to try and sell Korean face masks online, pick that lane, go for it, give it a good, go try different things. If one thing doesn't work, try something else. If another thing doesn't work, try something else really keep at it. And if you want to, you know, start a ice cream shop, do that right. Stick with it. Because I think that one lesson that kind of keeps reappearing recently is like, don't just give up because it's hard.
Speaker 1 00:34:38 Like it's hard because it's about to get better. And so, you know, find a way in a really twisted way to enjoy this time and observe where it hurts in your body. You know, like you say, let's get a little bit, woo, woo. About this. Like where does it, where do you feel the pain in your body? Where do you feel the resistance? What does that look like to you? You know, what feelings come up and keep asking yourself? Why? So I don't think it's a secret that Tony Robbins and Dean Graziosi are great friends and their business partners as well. I think they've started like three companies together in the last year. One of Dean's things, I'm not his biggest fan, but one thing that he has done is teach me the seven levels of why I call it the seven depths. And I have a worksheet on that.
Speaker 1 00:35:24 So if anybody wants it, it's free and I'll just send it to you. And then you ask yourself why. So for example, I'm sitting here. I don't want to work today. Why don't I want to work today? And every time you answer, ask yourself why? So you really get to the bottom of what is it that is happening with me. And you'll also find the answer as a completely polar opposite of what you thought it was. And that is a start of self awareness. That is the start of understanding how you function and ultimately the way to lead you into a automated life. So you can actually enjoy it rather than fight with it.
Speaker 0 00:36:00 Yeah, that's great. I mean, we've said it a couple of times is, but that sort of change happens outside of your comfort zone and it is uncomfortable sometimes to ask those questions, but to your point about picking a lane and keep going, you're going to hit bumps in the road. But you know, I think I picked this up from Tony, is that the reason you're hitting a bump in their own obstacle is that you have forward momentum. If you're sat still, you know, the chair is to share the moment you get up and walk towards it. It becomes an obstacle, but that's good. So you want, you need to embrace those obstacles, but when you find them, ask yourself that sort of seven wire or whatever it might be just to get down to root cause. And I think it's just being aware enough to do that and comfortable enough to deal with whatever shows up, because that's the only way that you can, if you're going to grow.
Speaker 0 00:36:43 And it's me looking at my own depression and thinking about, okay, why that stuff I've read, I've now got to do it, you know, or actually it might be a thousand books you want to eat, but have you understood one book and gone deep with that several times now? I think just really unwell of what we're saying is here is that we can enjoy that process. It's part of that journey that we're on, but I think you, you have to go there and I guess it links really quite nicely to give yourself the chat is that you have to face up to these things. And so thank you for sharing that. As I said on a week, we could talk all day. You've mentioned a couple of things, a few resources, and you've given us a glimpse into your social media life. But if people want to get in touch with you, how can they do that?
Speaker 1 00:37:20 Yep. So Facebook is my jam. Feel free to add me as a friend. I haven't hit my friend limit yet. I did a clean out the other day. Otherwise you can find me on Facebook. My page is being Dutch knees. My Instagram handles the same being Dutch and A's as Dutch. Nice. Yeah. I will probably send you the link to a couple of my resources if that's okay, because then we can pop that in the show notes as they say, and yeah, you guys can kind of enjoy that, but yeah, please do get in touch. You know, I do love talking to people above all, not every conversation has to be a sales situation. I actually like getting to know people before I pitched. So let's have a conversation. Let's see what we can do for you. You know, even if you just in my kind of like ecosystem, you know, let's support each other, let's make the world a better place together.
Speaker 0 00:38:08 Fantastic. And on that note, I think you have a well deserved rest ahead of you after your intense weekend. Really appreciate you joining me today on it. It's been a, it's been lovely chatting to you. Wish you well, and let's keep in touch with thanks very much.
Speaker 2 00:38:26 So that's it
Speaker 0 00:38:26 For this episode of give yourself the chat podcast. Thank you very much for listening in. I hope you've enjoyed today's guest. If you are yet to explore the previous episodes, then it's available on all major podcast platforms. And if you'd like to get in touch with me to discuss or recommend future guests or subjects, you'd like me to explore them, please do so by heading over to Peter Lewis, coaching.com drop me a line. I'll be very happy to consider any ideas that you have, but in the meantime, thank you so much for your support of this podcast. And I look forward to seeing you on the next one.
